Posted by admin on July 5th, 2010 — Posted in Psychologists Den, Sports Parlor, Tips
There are 4 industry standard settings of compaction. They deviate in hardness, length, and additionally control. I think learning to play golf may well be just like learning a new language or learning to play the piano, atrocious at the outset but rewards may occur later. Golf is normally 20 % practice and technique.
Something as simple like modifying your particular ball can go a really long way in improving your score. ‘But how then do I choose the correct ball,’ you would inquire? Let’s take a minute and critique a thing or two about golf ball compressing. Contraction is normally dictated by how tightly our ball is wound. The softer the ball, the greater the length, the greater the expiration of control.
It is usually a excellent idea to meditate when you are likely to miss chances you had better be making. On reflection you may mark the way in which lakes, bunkers to rough repeatedly make you uneasy, how you lose that essential shot while under pressure. Arriving late to the golf course and having to hurry to tee off together with people around could make people really feel stressed and the resulting shot is no longer up to your own high standard.
Hybrid clubs - playing from the rough is most often the place these specific clubs truly come into their own as the sheer mass behind the club helps to push through the grass without winding, a number even have a rudder on the sole that additionally assists to draw the clubface square up so people can hit straight virtually every time. A further utilization for the hybrid golf-club is often strokes from just off the putting green where you’ll would use barely a slight loft to aim over the fringe or where you normally are against the fringe and therefore need the club head to get to the rear of the full golf ball.
Golfing psychological science is important to the method that people mentally approach each scene is vital if you want to get better. Whilst training aids can be enormously useful in eeking out the knots in your play, the importance of good equipment can’t be underestimated. It not exclusively gets your brain prepared to strike the next stroke, however after time it will put in play a chain of events which can effortlessly become implanted onto the muscle memory, increasing the likeliness of hitting the stroke you desire and thereby furthering the substance and therefore improving your golf scores.
Golfing is no longer simply exercise; it may well be an adventure, a little romance the classic William Shakespeare play in which tragedy and additionally clowning are normally intertwined and you have to live with the repercussions. Golfing is really good exercise whatever your age - a few say that golf spoils a great stroll - in reality if you hold on one day you might also reach things. You cannot beat investing time replacing divots and looking for lost balls.
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Posted by admin on June 19th, 2010 — Posted in Baker's Dozen, Hall Of Self Improvement, Psychologists Den
Though admittedly controversial, several experts hail conversational hypnosis and programs such as Underground Hypnosis as powerful approaches. It’s inaccurate to designate hypnosis as mind control — because the much repeated saw concerning “mind over matter” comes into play — you can effectively inform the subject and alleviate, maybe even treat, physical, mental not to mention emotional issues through the subconscious. You can use this to do something like watching a specific television episode or some comedic fun to combating mental disorder and overcoming various addictions. And in the hands of seasoned practitioners, there’s effectively no danger. Black ops hypnosis such as the method being imparted through the Underground Hypnosis movement is in its essentials inducing trance in your subject. Please note you can take them so far into a trance state. How deeply the subject descends into the trance state is governed by factors like their personality, emotional status, and hypnotist’s ability.
At the first level, the subject’s minor muscle systems will release tension at their unconscious instruction. They feel dozy, rather than tired. Some feel as if their eyelids are becoming heavy. As the hypnotist takes the subject deeper, this ease begins to spread to the shoulders and digits. Often, this takes practically no time at all. It’s possible to establish trance states sufficiently deep that the only sound heard is that made by whoever has hypnotized them. Hypnotic suggestion comes into play from this point on. If you should you guide the subject to a greater depth of trance, you’ll find a point beyond which they can be helped to disregard pain, and discard physical sensation, even lock away memories.
You can, it’s worth noting, guide the subject into an even more intense trance, bit by bit producing a hallucinatory level before reaching a level along the likes of that which the mind reaches when undergoing general anesthetic. It’s not unknown for this kind of hypnotic state to be employed in place of anesthetic during medical procedures.
conversational hypnosis as taught in the Underground Hypnosis system won’t take anyone to that depth; but that won’t be any difficulty. No, when you’re working within typical guidelines for hypnosis, you can stick with the lighter forms of trance.
So look into the Underground Hypnosis crew — anybody, even you, can sign up. After devoting a little while to learning and a few hours honing the things you’ve learned, you’ll quite soon become quite an expert hypnotist. So why are you worried? No reason to worry.
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Posted by admin on May 6th, 2010 — Posted in Baker's Dozen, Hall Of Self Improvement, Psychologists Den
Underground Hypnosis has developed a particularly cloudy reputation, but it and other approaches to conversational hypnosis can genuinely benefit people. Used as a treatment for emotional, physical, and mental troubles to say nothing of an effective communication method, this form of “mind control” uses an individual’s unconscious mind to make them do what you’re looking for. This could be something like making time for a specific TV broadcast or some light-hearted suggestion to combating depression and triumphing over addiction to tobacco. It seems somewhat disturbing before you have an opportunity to think about it, but it’s a surprisingly common technique which usually results in no significant issues. Let’s turn to the Underground Hypnosis movement, as well as similar methods of black ops hypnosis, and scrutinize the basics; induction into trance. The depth to which the person descends in the trance state will be influenced by their personality and emotional status.
Subconsciously, as you fall into a light trance, certain smaller muscles will untense. As their eyelids start to weigh on the subject, they’ll experience lethargy, wanting to drift off to sleep. You can watch fingers twitch and shoulders slump as a deeper trance fills the body at a surprising pace. It’s possible to lead subjects down to trances sufficiently deep that the only sound heard is that coming from whoever has hypnotized them. Once they’re led to this depth, hypnotic suggestion comes in, with instruction to the unconscious mind becoming possible. Once you lead the subject to a greater depth of trance, you’ll find a point beyond which they are able to ignore pain, and lose other sensations, even seal away memories.
Powerful hallucinations gradually manifest the deeper they go into their trance state, and after some time the subject will achieve a state reminiscent of that found via anesthesia. In circumstances under which anesthesia appears inappropriate, hypnosis has more often than not been held up to serve the same role. You won’t learn how to bring someone to that state using Underground Hypnosis, but remember that degree of depth is rarely needed. No, when attempting the common goals of a hypnotist, you should only use the lighter degrees of trance state. It’s now time to note that this power can be conveyed to anyone signing up for Underground Hypnosis. After devoting a short time to learning and a few hours fine-tuning your approach, you’ll rapidly become quite an excellent hypnotist — with all that entails. It’s really as straightforward as that and not scary at all.
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Posted by admin on January 4th, 2010 — Posted in Psychologists Den
Stroll into your local city during the early hours of the daybreak and you will see various road sweepers on the roads cleaning up the mess left from all the shenanigans of last night. It’s an emblematic early daybreak scene, and it often obscures the litter trouble we encounter. We don’t actually give rubbish a consideration as we feel keeping the streets tidy is not our job.
However, there is a subtle yet substantial influence litter has in terms of shaping the mood of individuals. We are more likely to think a neighbourhood is lacking law and order if rubbish is scattered around, and thus felons see litter as a latent indication for a chance of a break-in, a mugging, or car-theft. The very same sign develops some concern in other individuals who worry they might be wandering into a more dodgy area and are concerned about possibly being assaulted.
Not only that, but also the impact on the aesthetic attraction of a location. Rubbish scattered around can give the appearance of a neighbourhood looking a bit derelict even if it’s just been trashed by revellers from the previous night. This can harm the reputation of a location if people are only within the location for this particular short period of time and only see it in its messy state.
There’s no purpose to drop litter if there are unfilled bins in the neighbourhood. If there are no litter bins, or the rubbish bins that are there are overflowing, this is a problem to take up with the local council. Littering has a negative influence on everyone.
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Posted by admin on May 21st, 2009 — Posted in Psychologists Den
Depression is a serious illness, not a harmless part of life. It is a complex disorder with a variety of causes. It is never caused by just one thing. It may be the result of a mix of factors, including genetic, chemical, physical, and sociological. It is also influenced by behavior patterns learned in the family and by cognitive distortions.
Depression affects millions of people in this country. It is always troubling, and for some people it can be disabling. Depression is more than just sadness or “the blues.” It can have an impact on nearly every aspect of a person’s life. People who suffer from depression may experience despair and worthlessness, and this can have an enormous impact on both personal and professional relationships. In this newsletter, I will describe many of the factors that may cause depression, and I will explore strategies for preventing it.
Depression Is Pervasive
When a person suffers from depression, it can affect every part of his or her life, including one’s physical body, one’s behavior, thought processes, mood, ability to relate to others, and general lifestyle.
Symptoms of Depression
People who are diagnosed with clinical depression have a combination of symptoms from the following list:
• Feelings of hopelessness, even when there is reason to be hopeful
• Fatigue or low energy
• Much less interest or pleasure in most regular activities
• Low self-esteem
• Feeling worthless
• Excessive or inappropriate guilt
• Lessened ability to think or concentrate
• Indecisiveness
• Thinking distorted thoughts; having an unrealistic view of life
• Weight loss or gain without dieting
• Change in appetite
• Change in sleeping patterns
• Recurrent thoughts of death
• Suicidal thoughts
• A specific plan for committing suicide
• A suicide attempt
• Feelings of restlessness or being slowed down
When a person is suffering from depression, these symptoms cause significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. This means that the person’s family and social relationships, as well as work life, are impaired.
When a person is suffering from depression, symptoms such as these are not the result of a chronic psychotic disorder, substance abuse, general medical condition, or bereavement.
Grief, Sadness, and Depression
Depression may include feelings of sadness, but it is not the same as sadness. Depression lasts much longer than sadness. While depression involves a loss of self-esteem, grief, disappointment and sadness do not. People who are depressed function less productively. People who are sad or disappointed continue to function.
Depression and Socioeconomic Factors
Depression does not seem to be related to ethnicity, education, income, or marital status. It strikes slightly more women than men. Some researchers believe that depression strikes more often in women who have a history of emotional and sexual abuse, economic deprivation, or are dependent on others. There seems to be a genetic link; depression is more common among parents, children, and siblings of people who are diagnosed with depression. The average age at the onset of a depressive episode is the mid-20s. People born more recently are being diagnosed at a younger age.
Physical Causes
Many physicians believe that depression results from a chemical imbalance in the brain. They often prescribe antidepressant medication, and many people find relief as a result. However, there is no reliable test to identify such a chemical imbalance. It is unknown whether life experiences cause mood changes, which create changes in brain chemistry, or whether it works in reverse.
Depression may be associated with physical events such as other diseases, physical trauma, and hormonal changes. A person who is depressed should always have a physical examination as part of the assessment process to determine the role of physical causes.
Signs That Professional Treatment Is Needed
If you or someone you know is depressed and exhibits any of the following signs, it is extremely important to seek the assistance of a medical or mental health professional.
1. Thinking about death or suicide. This is always dangerous and you should see a professional therapist immediately.
2. When symptoms of depression continue for a long time, you may need professional help. Acute responses to events are normal, but they should not last beyond a reasonable time.
3. Your ability to function is impaired by your depression. Seek help before your life situation deteriorates to a serious level.
4. You have become so isolated that you have no one with whom to check reality. Seek out someone to share your thoughts and feelings with.
5. Depressive symptoms have become severe.
Garrett Coan is a professional therapist,coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. He offers online and telephone coaching and counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or 201-303-4303.
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Posted by admin on May 20th, 2009 — Posted in Psychologists Den
What do you do when you someone you know has to deal with persistent fears and anxieties or even depression? Well the first thing you need to do is to get the person to seek the services of a professional and/or counselor who can lead them in the right direction and give them the help they need. In the meantime, here are some other things you can do to help the person cope.
Learn as much as you can in managing fears, anxieties and depression. There are many books and information that will educate on how to deal with fear and anxiety. Share this information with the person who is struggling. Education is the key in finding the answers your looking for in managing your fears.
Be understanding and patient with the person struggling with their fears. Dealing with depression and anxiety can be difficult for the person so don’t add more problems than what is already there.
As for the person dealing with the anxiety, he or she must realize that managing anxiety and fear takes practice. So when experiencing an anxiety related situation, begin to learn what works, what doesn’t work, and what you need to improve on in managing your fears and anxieties. As you do this, you will become better in dealing with your anxieties.
Don’t forget to Pray and ask God for help. A person can only do so much. Asking God for help can give us additional resources to help manage our fears and anxieties. It is not always easy, however God is in control and he will help you if you ask him.
Another thing to remember is that things change and events do not stay the same. For instance, you may feel overwhelmed in the mornings with your anxiety and feel that this is how you will feel the rest of the day. This isn’t correct. No one can predict the future with 100 Percent accuracy. Even if the thing that you feared does happen there are circumstances and factors that you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage. You never know when the help and answers you are looking for will come to you.
As a Layman, I realize it is not easy to deal with all of our fears. When your fears and anxieties have the best of you, seek help from a professional. The key is to be patient, take it slow, and not to give up. In time, you will be able to find those resources that will help you with your problems.
Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods”-a book that presents a overview of techniques in managing Fear. For more info go to: www.managingfear.com
For free articles on managing fear please go to: www.managingfear.com
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Posted by admin on March 27th, 2009 — Posted in Psychologists Den
I heard about a woman who was suffering from depression, so her concerned husband took her to a psychiatrist. The doctor listened to the couple talk about their relationship, and then he said, “The treatment I prescribe is really quite simple.” With that, he went over to the man’s wife, gathered her up in his arms, and gave her a big kiss. He then stepped back and looked at the woman’s glowing face and broad smile. Turning to the woman’s husband, he said, “See! That’s all she needs to put new life back into her.” Expressionless, the husband said, “If you say so, Doc, I can bring her in on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”
Okay, that’s not how to treat depression, but I have a few other suggestions that make more sense. As a result of trial and error, over the course of thirty years, I’ve found ten blues battling strategies that often help me. These are not quick fixes, and this list is not exhaustive. It is also not a “must do” list.
When you’re depressed, the last thing you need is a list of expectations to live up to. Don’t stress about forcing yourself to accomplish all these things. They’re not items to be checked off a list each day. The only one that is crucial is number one. After that, you can experiment with the others as you feel able to.
1) Get the Facts and Get Help.
Web sites and books on depression abound. Find them and do some research. You need to know what you’re dealing with. Learn all you can about depression, so you can make educated decisions about your own health, learn how others cope, and find what medical treatment is available. Many books have self tests to help you determine whether you are experiencing clinical depression or temporary sadness in reaction to an event. In addition to reading everything you can get your hands on, one of the most important things you can do for yourself is seek medical help right away. Depression is much too complicated for you to solve on your own. Clinical depression is a serious medical condition that is very complicated to treat. Often it is a physical problem that requires long term medication. In my own experience, it’s taken years of medication, counseling, and practicing various self help methods to slowly emerge from it, and it’s still a daily battle.
Many people suffer needlessly from depression because they won’t consult a doctor. If you’re waiting for God to heal you, consider this: God gives scientists intelligence, which they often use to create helpful medicines; and He gives doctors wisdom to treat illnesses. Wise doctors and modern medicines are gifts from God and vehicles through which He often heals. Doctors can help you determine whether what you feel is truly depression, or if you are just reacting normally to a sad life situation.
If you’ve experienced depression, you already know it is not an illness you can “snap out of,” no matter what others may tell you. It’s not something to be ashamed of either. Depression can be a serious physical illness caused by an imbalance of brain chemicals or other factors. Like any serious medical condition, depression needs to be treated. Without the proper treatment, none of my suggested coping strategies will do any good.
2) Get Focused.
Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness pervade the life of a depressed person. The opposite of depression is a hopeful attitude. Focusing on hope and developing a hopeful heart is a must. It can be accomplished in a couple ways. One way is to search the Bible for the numerous Scriptures that tell how God has helped those who felt hopeless. It’s helpful to memorize verses like these: Hebrews 4:15 (For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we areyet was without sin.); 2 Corinthians 4:8 & 9 (All-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.); Matthew 6:34 (Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.); Isaiah 41:10 (Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.); and John 14:27 (Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.).
The story of Job and the book of Psalms are the most worn pages in my Bible. While at my lowest, I’ve read and re-read them more times than I can count. My fridge and the mirrors in my house are covered with sticky notes reminding me of how God intervenes in the lives of His people.
Another way to focus on hope is by practicing positive self talk. This simply means telling yourself good things. I made a list for myself of positive affirmations like “God cares and understands my pain. God values me. God is giving me strength. I am made in God’s image. I can choose my attitude. I choose not to put myself down. I’m a worthwhile person. I have a purpose. I enjoy life. I choose to be happy and I am competent.” If you struggle with depression, I think you’ll find it helpful to write down as many of these affirmations as you can think of and read them every day. Even if they’re not currently true or you don’t really believe them, it’s okay. Say them to yourself anyway. Your mind will come to believe what you tell it, so tell it you are already the type of person you want to become. Be sure to remind yourself often that God is with you and He is pouring his strength on you. “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance. …For You are the God of my strength…” (Psalm 42:5 and 43:2 NKJV)
2 Corinthians 4:18 says we need to “fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” Focusing on positive, heavenly things rather than earthly things will keep the feelings of hopelessness at bay.
3) Get Friendly.
Fellowship with other people is a mood lifter. Being alone is the worst thing you can do when you’re depressed. Unfortunately, it’s usually the very thing I want most. Depression grows best in isolation. I find it very difficult to get out and socialize when I’m depressed, but if I push myself to do it, I’m almost always glad later. Some ideas for socializing include joining a club, taking a class, inviting someone to meet you for lunch, or visiting a nursing home to chat with the residents there. It especially helps me to be with friends who enjoy the same hobbies I do. Shopping, watching movies, and rubber stamping are some of the things I enjoy doing alone, but they’re twice as much fun when I do them with friends.
4) Get Giggling.
I collect cartoons and funny newspaper columns. I visit humor web sites online, watch funny movies, and read funny books. Best of all is laughing with friends. One of the reasons I enjoy my grandson so much is because he makes me laugh. I can act goofy with him and let go of my inhibitions. We dance and sing and make up silly rhymes. I have photographs of us wearing funny glasses with big black mustaches. I laugh every time I look at those. Laughing affects brain chemicals. It releases endorphins, which make you feel good. Chocolate does the same thing, but a good laugh is less fattening.
A friend of mine, who had a very frustrating job, told me that one day she was inspired by someone who had a huge, bright smile. She decided to emulate that woman and smile at everyone she encountered. Right away, she realized that smiling was addictive. It seemed to make the time pass more quickly and she found herself less frustrated and more at peace. She told me, “It sounds corny, but it really works!”
Paul wrote, “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4 NKJV) I’ve heard that a person can act her way into feeling better. Act happy, act glad, and it helps you to feel happy and glad. Paul exhibited this truth in his own life. Acts 16 tells how Paul and Silas were attacked, beaten, locked in stocks, and thrown into solitary confinement. Yet, at midnight, what were they doing? Feeling sorry for themselves? Asking God, “Why?” Moaning and complaining like I do? No, they were singing! Sure they were suffering, but they knew they were children of God. Paul may have even been remembering his personal encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus. (Acts 22:10) They were praising God because they had been rescued from their sins, filled by the Holy Spirit, and added to God’s family. No jailer could take that away. That was worth being grateful for, no matter what else happened to them. Even if they were to be killed, it would only send them to heaven. So why should they fear? That’s some awesome faith, isn’t it?
5) Get Rhythm.
When I feel a case of the gloomies descending, that is not the time to play melancholy music. Positive upbeat tunes are in order — the sort of music you might hear at a parade or a circus. Music gets your toes tapping and your blood flowing. It makes you want to sing. Singing and dancing sends a message to your brain that you’re happy. Your brain is an actualizer. Whatever it “thinks” is true, it works to bring about. This is why positive thinking works. You tell yourself, “I’m happy” often enough and your brain accepts it as fact. It actualizes that truth, making it happen. I’ve found that when depression takes hold of me, I tend to ruminate on negative thoughts. Listening to good, Christian music with positive lyrics helps to pour good things into my brain and crowd those negative things out. There’s a list of good things to ponder in the fourth chapter of Paul’s letter to the Philippian church. It says to think about whatever is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, noble, right, or admirable. Philippians 4:8 says, “If anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.” Christian music helps me accomplish this.
6) Get Busy
We all need to feel like we’re involved in something significant. We need to participate in something outside ourselves. You might consider volunteering at a local women’s shelter or food pantry. I’ve enjoyed both and discovered that when I stay busy helping others and concentrating on their problems, I get a break from focusing on my own troubles. This is how HUGS and HOPE began. It started with a small effort to make a difference for one family and it grew. I’ve learned that joy boomerangs. When you give it away, it comes back to you. Helping others gives you the heart-warming satisfaction of knowing you are making a difference in the world. That will elevate your mood as well as your self esteem.
7) Get Physical
This is two-fold. Physical exercise is good for us, but physical contact is equally important. Our bodies need to move to be healthy, and going for a walk is the easiest exercise for me to do when I’m depressed. It doesn’t require as much energy and motivation as other activities. Breathing the fresh air and looking at the beauty of nature can be helpful, and taking my dog along is even better. Just watching his ears flop as he bounces down the road in front of me often brings a smile to my face.
Exercise affects brain chemicals, and the healing touch of physical closeness does too. If you’re depressed, hug somebody - anybody, everybody! A hug is good medicine. It reduces stress and tension and it boosts your immunity to illness. Hugs raise self esteem and lower blood pressure. They feel good and make people happy. And they’re free! Hugs are the universal language that communicates love and acceptance. They’re healthy for the “hugger” as well as the “hugee.”
Get Quiet
I need to lean heavily on God’s word and spend time with Him. When I pray, I talk things over with God. When I read the Bible and meditate on it, I hear Him speak to me and I contemplate what He says. I’ve found this to be one of the best anti-depressants there is. However, I need to add a word of caution here. Too much solitude can worsen depression. Isolating yourself and avoiding people can make depression grow. Don’t use meditation time as an excuse to avoid human contact. Time with God is of the utmost importance, but balance between quiet time alone and time spent with others is essential.
9) Get Forgiveness - And Give it Too!
I’ve read that many psychiatrists agree that depression is guilt or anger turned inward. David is an example of someone whose guilt led to depression. After committing adultery, he wrote, “When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer.” (Psalm 32:3-4)
Sin makes you feel bad, but when you receive God’s forgiveness, your guilt is removed; and often depression is removed too.
Depression can sometimes be caused from the need to forgive someone else or yourself (whomever is making you angry). Grudges cause feelings of frustration, which aggravate the hopeless feelings of depression. When we forgive, we let go of past hurts and give up bitterness. Then depression has no negativity on which to feed. If you free yourself from feelings of hate and open yourself up to feelings of love, you may feel as if the depression is physically lifting off your shoulders.
My friend Nance went through a difficult divorce, which left her bitter about the past, anxious about the future, and miserable in general. She harbored a lot of grudges and guilt, and she worried constantly. She felt the need to control everything in her life, yet she knew she couldn’t. After attending a women’s retreat, Nance realized what her negativity was doing to her.She released her worries, fears, anger, and resentments at the foot of the cross. Then she felt a renewal in her heart. She was happy and at peace.
When she was dying, Nance told me that the most difficult thing she’d ever had to do was forgive - both her ex-husband and herself — for past mistakes. She said forgiving was even harder than dying!
Forgiveness isn’t a simple one time event. It’s a process that often takes time (sometimes years), but it’s an important step to healing.
Jesus taught forgiveness when he said we’d be forgiven in the same way we forgive others, and when he told Peter we should forgive, not seven times, but seventy times seven. Of course, Jesus also lived forgiveness. While hanging on the cross, he looked at his torturers and said, “Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)
10) Get Thankful.
When I’m depressed, I need to make a conscious effort to count my blessings. An attitude of hopelessness and discontent has a hard time competing with an attitude of gratitude. 1 Thessalonians 5:28 says, “In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” It’s important to remember that depression is not fatal and it doesn’t last forever. You WILL survive! Remind yourself that this cloud of despair will pass eventually. It may seem like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, but trust that there is; and be thankful for that, as you wait for the light to appear.
So, while kisses from your husband (or a psychiatrist) may be great, they can’t cure depression. But along with medication and the proper treatment, now you have some practical steps you can take for your own well being. There are times when one of these strategies may be more helpful than the rest. Other times, it may seem that none of them makes a huge difference. But I keep practicing all of them anyway, because I know they are steps toward a healthier lifestyle. Following them on a regular basis may not eliminate depression forever, but they help me to minimize their severity.
These tips can be helpful for people who are not depressed too. They can be useful for anyone who is a little discouraged, a little blue, or needs to refocus on more positive things in life.
I hope that by trying these ideas you may find yourself on the way to experiencing more joy.
******************
Author Marsha Jordan is founder of a nonprofit charity called Hugs and Hope for Sick Children (http://www.hugsandhope.org). More of her articles on depression are in her book, Hugs, Hope, and Peanut Butter, a compilation of essays illustrated with drawings by critically ill children. A wonderful mix of the serious and the zany, this book warms the heart and lifts the spirit. PROCEEDS BENEFIT SICK KIDS! This book was written to encourage anyone who faces disappointment — which is EVERYone! Some essays in the book include “What Did I Do To Deserve This?” “What Was God Thinking?” and “More Than I Can Handle.” Order the book or learn more at http://www.hugsandhope.org/book.htm
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Posted by admin on March 18th, 2009 — Posted in Psychologists Den
There’s been a common theme lately in my coaching practice with my clients and I thought it would be worthwhile to share this with you. We’ve been having a great deal of discussion about reacting to a situation as opposed to responding.
Can you recall a time when you might have reacted to something or someone and when the incident was all over feelings were hurt and you told yourself you wished you had handled it differently? If you’ve got kids, a life partner, parents, friends, a boss, employees, dog, cat or bird, I’d put money on the fact that you said yes. Don’t despair; reacting to all the challenges life throws at you is as normal as needing to breathe.
The good news is you can turn your unnecessary reactions into responses, if you choose to do so. But before I go any further, let me clear up the difference between an unnecessary reaction and a reaction worth having.
When you or a loved one is in harms way, you may automatically react to protect yourself or them and that’s a reaction worth having. When you’re driving in your car and a dog suddenly runs out in front of you, you react by slamming on your breaks so as not to hit the dog. When you react out of pure joy and love with excitement you are in the moment letting your authentic self shine through, having no regrets later as to how you behaved. Okay, maybe you’ll feel a little embarrassed if you really whooped it up, but let’s be honest here, there’s still a smile on your face when you think back about the reaction and you’d probably do it all over again.
With that said let’s focus on the reacting vs. responding to the people in your lives that matter to you the most. Reactions to situations that anger you or make you uncomfortable are quite spontaneous, without much thought and you can have an attachment to the outcome. You can find yourself reacting on assumptions and from your point of view only. Sometimes you may react before the other person has even finished their sentence.
As a matter of fact, I did this the other day with my son, and when I was done with my little lecture he said, “Mom! Here’s what I was going to say.” When he finished I realized my reaction was way off base. A simple response to his question would have been all that was necessary, my blood pressure would have been kept down a few notches and the conversation would have been finished a lot sooner.
It’s because of reactions like this, that a situation can get out of hand and become much more than it was ever intended to be. And, when you react before you think, you can say things to the other person you didn’t mean to say and not make a whole lot of sense in the process. Feelings are hurt and the whole thing’s a mess until hours or days go by and you’ve finally cleared it up. Or, things never really get cleared up and it festers inside you until the next incident creating yet another reaction. I call this a reaction of chain reactions.
Responding is the opposite of reacting. When you’re willing to suspend judgment for a moment and just listen, you can put yourself in a response mode. Responding is a conscious act and you’re choosing to be fully present to what’s happening. You’re not immediately concerned about the outcome. You’re willing to hear what’s being said, so when the other person is finished you can respond from a place of wanting to find a resolution and the other person feels like they were understood.
There is no question that responding takes more effort. And I dare say that most of us walk around reacting instead of responding, simply because it’s easier. Reacting takes less immediate effort on our brain’s part.
Responding forces us to grow which can be scary. However, as we grow, we become more attractive to the people around us. When we become more attractive to the people around us our lives improve ten-fold in every way.
So the next time you have the opportunity to choose between reacting vs. responding take a minute and decide what would be best for that particular situation.
If suddenly you find yourself reacting when you wanted to respond it’s not to late to put on the breaks and start over. It’s okay to say, “Wait, I want to back up here. I’m reacting and I really want to respond to what you said.” Or, “I’m sorry, I interrupted you, please finish, and then I’ll respond to what I’ve heard.” As a matter of fact, the other person will be grateful for your openness.
Notice how often you react instead of respond. What kinds of things are you reactive to?
Acknowledge yourself when you respond vs. react even if you started with a reaction. It’s important to take credit where credit is due. That acknowledgement helps you create your new desired habit quicker. Remember, give yourself a break when working on something new for yourself. It takes time and there’s always a period of two steps back and one step forward. Eventually the steps all go in the same direction. That’s forward, of course!
Copyright 2005, Linda Salazar all rights reserved. This article may be reproduced in its entirety as long as all credits are included.
Linda Salazar
Certified Personal Life Coach, Author, Speaker
310-375-4800
Awaken The Genie Within®
Practical Strategies for Magical Results
www.awakenthegeniewithin.com
Linda@awakenthegeniewithin.com
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Posted by admin on March 9th, 2009 — Posted in Psychologists Den
Many Science Fiction authors have discussed in many works the issues with robotic assistants and companions. Today we see DARPA awarding a contract to a group of artificial intelligence software gurus to put together a computer assistant, which can read any manual and then explain in human terms what it says. This assistant would be near a human during equipment repairs or preventative maintenance during operations. In the movie Artificial Intelligence you will remember the boy robot was read certain words in a certain order to activate a love program for bonding to the human. In Isaac Asimov’s novels he often had long dialogues about the very subject of human bonding, love and companionship amongst robots, androids and organically engineered creatures with their human counter parts.
Many questions arise when looking at these converging technologies of autonomous robots, artificial intelligence and their future of cooperation with humans. It is safe to say that humans may get quite frustrated taking orders from a robotic android and perhaps even quite belligerent at times. Many of the human innate characteristics of our species may be quite disruptive to the teamwork process needed to work towards efficiency in business, military and things like first responder rescues using robots. These uses are just a few of the hundreds of excellent applications, which will be incorporate robotic technologies.
How will we get humans to bond with their robotic assistants? I believe we should use the built in bonding methods of human nature and nurturing which permeates the world of human behavior. First human memories at early childhood seem to contain bonds. First love during puberty, seem to hold significance in the human mind. Intense stress in a human endeavor, disaster or competition of will or strength of character in war or sport while in the company of team mates, friends, associates, soldiers or simply bystanders appear to be high on the list of human bonding. In fact, sports coaches, drill sergeants and leadership in training of their teams, soldiers and populations use these techniques. Disasters, calamities, war and extreme human stress whether induced, imagined or real work in forming bonds of this type between humans. But can these techniques work to bond human to robot? It would stand to reason that they would in fact. In my days of motorcycle racing and flying I found myself bonding to a hunk of precision machinery. Fighter pilots bond to their aircraft, often personifying the craft with their names on the side, nose art of women or other meaningful significance. What about a robot, which was so carefully created that it looked and felt like a real human in almost everyway? Can we bond a human to the robotic android to such a degree that they worked together with the full respect of a team mate of a professional sports team or soldiers in the heat of battle?
Can we design such a robot and promote that level of bonding thru a virtual reality setting or using contrived events to simulate natural human bonding in our culture. I believe we can. I also believe that the strongest bonds in nature of any species seem to be that between a mother and their offspring. To simulate this level of bonding for robotic companions and/or assistants we must specifically program the robot to catch clues from the specific human’s behavior and build upon those. But first we need an initial bonding event that triggers chemical reactions in the brain, which are as strong as those early memories. I propose using a picture of a person’s mother in a family photo, which depicts a pre-memory time period, the photo would contain the subject and the mother. Such a photo would provide an imprinted memory to work with, one which could be simulated with the robot. The robot would replicate the mother’s position in the file photo whether sitting or standing. This would cause the human subject to move to put themselves in the scene in their mind thru a false memory and thus move closer to the robot while their chemicals in their brains recorded over the old memory. A robotic android of the opposite sex may also be a worthy idea to increase bonding as small amounts of casual flirting may add to the chemical bonding of the brain.
In the event a robotic assistant is needed for long-term space flight these things must be considered. Likewise a robotic assistant in a military situation, it would be critical. For future companion robots, scientists and programmers will have to focus on these things in order to prevent hostility between human and machines and eventually between transhumans with robotic parts and full robotic androids. We must think on these issues as the future is becoming closer at a much faster rate then ever before.
“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/
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Posted by admin on February 10th, 2009 — Posted in Psychologists Den
I just left the movie theater after watching, “The New World,” about the Jamestown Colony.
What strikes me about this film is that it is largely nonverbal. There’s very little dialogue, and this is a huge plus.
The director lets us learn about the colonization of America by listening to the poetry of nature, its rivers, whispering trees, sweeping vistas, and fields of swaying corn.
The story focuses on the love relationship between Pocahontas and John Smith, and later between Pocahontasrenamed Rebecca, and John Rolfe. These tales are told largely through gestures, facial expressions, body language, clothing, and other nuances of a nonverbal nature.
If you see the film I think you’ll agree that the absence of language promotes tremendous clarity. By comparison, most movies are way too talky.
And being art, movies imitate life, which means most of us in our everyday affairs are far too talky, as well.
It has taken a number of bouts with laryngitis for me to discover how much of my talking is unnecessary, and how if we’re forced to, we can introduce both economy and precision into our discourse.
When your voice first starts to fade, you’re tempted to talk more, but then, checking your calendar, you consider that you’re actually going to need your voice for a business meeting or for a sales call. So, you conserve, first by eliminating as many of your complaints as possible.
It’s easier than you think, and it saves time and energy. You feel calmer, too.
Then gossip is jettisoned.
You truly start editing your ideas before they run haphazardly through your vocal chords.
You employ smiles, nods and head shaking much more.
Listening takes on a much larger role, and suddenly, you seem much less complicated, and definitely more agreeable and affable.
You enter a “new world,” mainly of your own making.
Then, all too soon, you regain your voice, but you lose the lessons that whispered to you from this less verbal environment.
Dr. Gary S. Goodman, President of Customersatisfaction.com, is a popular keynote speaker, management consultant, and seminar leader and the best-selling author of 12 books, including Reach Out & Sell Someone® and Monitoring, Measuring & Managing Customer Service. He is a frequent guest on radio and television, worldwide. A Ph.D. from USC’s Annenberg School, Gary offers programs through UCLA Extension and numerous universities, trade associations, and other organizations in the United States and abroad. He is headquartered in Glendale, California, and he can be reached at (818) 243-7338 or at: gary@customersatisfaction.com
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